I like words. They’re kind of my thing. But I am man enough to admit that prior to a few years ago I had no idea that the word ‘stochastic,’ as in ‘stochastic terrorism,’ even existed, much less that it was the Democrats’ new magical explanation for political violence in America.
Today, after years of conservatives being accused of inciting violence with their rhetoric, we have a rash of destruction and vandalism of Teslas in protest of Elon Musk’s involvement with President Donald Trump’s administration, so why aren’t we hearing about stochastic terrorism this time around?
The word stochastic first burst on the scene in the English language in the 1660s, but was not much heard until quite recently. Its literal definition is ‘random,’ or ‘involving chance or probability,’ but its new meaning is far more fiery.
Here is how the princess of the far-left Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., who at least until recently, drove a white Tesla, talked about stochastic terrorism just a few days ago:
‘It’s uncomfortable serving with people who engage in what many experts deem stochastic terrorism … I’ve consistently had to ride in 20,000-pound armored vehicles, engaging in some of the most gruesome threats that you can imagine that were incited by Republican [Congress] members.’
So, according to these unnamed experts, who one has a deep suspicion received federal funding to research this nonsense, stochastic terrorism is rhetoric that may fuel hatred and may, as a statistical probability, lead to violence.
It also sounds fancy, so if you are at a cocktail event at the Yale Club you can drop it, along with maybe ‘phenomenological,’ or ‘synecdoche,’ for extra points.
In practice, the censorious American left uses the phrase stochastic terrorism as a way of accusing its detractors of inciting violence, which by no accident is precisely the only form of speech that can be banned under the First Amendment.
So, for example, and I apologize if this sounds insane, when the Libs of TikTok social media account shows videos that teachers made and published of themselves talking about helping kids become trans, it is committing stochastic terrorism, even though, to date, Libs of TikTok has not been associated with an iota of violence.
No, these days, if you’re looking for political violence, you want to head over to your local Tesla dealership. That’s where the action is, stochastic and otherwise.
And yet, the same Democrats who for four years spoke of nothing else but the grave threat of domestic terrorism from the far right, take next-to-no notice of coordinated, violent attacks on Teslas and their owners across the country.
One must now ask, when Rep. Jasmine Crockett, D-Texas, says, ‘All I want to see happen on my birthday is for Elon to be taken down,’ or when former vice presidential candidate and white guy taco connoisseur Tim Walz says, ‘On the iPhone, they’ve got that little stock app. I added Tesla to it to give me a little boost during the day — $225 and dropping,’ all while Teslas burn, is that not stochastic terrorism?
By their own rules and standards, don’t Democrats have an affirmative responsibility to loudly tell their supporters to knock it off with the burning of cars, shootings at dealerships and destruction of charging stations, which were once, by the way, statues of progressive piety?
In all sincerity – or if you prefer guilelessness or rectitude – silly terms like stochastic terrorism should not even exist. Its sole purpose is censorship, and while it does not rise to a level where the government can punish ‘stochastic terrorists,’ at least not yet, the private sector and academia can and do punish such speech.
Democrats like Crockett and Walz, among others, deserve the benefit of the doubt when it comes to whether they approve of the violence directed against Musk and Tesla owners, but what is clear is that they think it is to their advantage, and are not much interested in seeing it stop.
So, I’m sorry, AOC, that you have to ride around in fancy armored vehicles and endure insults, but before you lecture conservatives about stochastic terrorism, maybe open a newspaper and see that it is your team doing the arson this time.
Thankfully, the Trump administration has no time for these pedantic word games. It knows exactly how to handle the domestic terrorists attacking Teslas, which is to say, by putting them in jail.
That is how you fight terrorism, not by inventing ridiculous and complex terms to silence your enemies.
